Hey, Wow its been a while.... I am going to start posting again. Life has taken some different paths since my active time on this blog. I will update soon. This morning I am thankful for God and salvation. For knowing that He hears the prayers of His children! I have witnessed lots of answered prayer...from healing from illness to the simplest of things.... God is mighty, He is great and worthy to be praised!!!

NEW PUPPY= House in chaos
I would compare it to running a preschool class. But she is starting to get used to our routine.....Finally!

Nov 28 2015

Just some random thoughts:

I wonder if I will get out of this funk.  The holiday season is here and I am struggling. I am grieving for my grandpa, who was like a second dad to me.  That pain is coming from deep within me.  At the same time, I feel I need to make this holiday great to make up for his absence... for my kids who will only live at home for possibly 3 more Christmases (counting this one).  I feel the need but don't have the motivation or energy to even get started.    I need to be thankful I still have my health and that I am able to bake, decorate, shop, etc.... I think of friends older and younger who are ill, undergoing treatments, or who have passed away leaving their families to carry on without them.  I want to enjoy the family I have left knowing that death could come for anyone at any time.   This could be any one of our last Christmases..... I hate to be morbid...but death has been a very real part of my life ever since I lost my mom in 1999.  I was 30,  she was 48.  I am now 46 and I think about it a lot.... what if I only have 2 more years.... I long to be with my savior in heaven, that much is true.  But I have a lot to do here....My kids need me.... etc...    I guess the Lord knows best and whatever happens happens.  "His ways are higher then my ways"  I always say.   

I worry about family members....my dad, my brother, ..... salvation of some of our family members too.... and for my immediate family...are we always putting Christ first...He should be... what kind of example am I setting for this?  

Music is my life....but this season stresses me out too.   Choir Christmas Cantata..... stressful!  Chanticleer...3 concerts...stressful!   Taking school students to perform and school christmas program...stressful!!!!     I am maxed out with responsibility!     and I will be glad when it is over!  

Everyone battles things within themselves.   I think that happens no matter how old ya get.  I struggle with lots of things.... I always think so deeply... then when I get in front of a screen to type my thoughts or a journal's blank page to write, I ask "Now what was I thinking about"   haha.....    I need a voice recorder so I can capture those thoughts while they are happening cause my memory fails me often. 

Pray often.... trust in Jesus Christ.... no matter what things you face He is the rock you need to stand on!   

October 17,2015

     Saturday morning, and the house is quiet.  I'm thinking about the things in my life....  The things of the greatest value are relationships.  Last evening we spent time with one of my favorite people, my cousin from Baltimore! I've missed him so much!  I want to make sure I see him more often! My oldest daughter, my dad and his wife were there too.  It was a great visit that I will always treasure!   Then  my wonderful husband and I went to watch the high school football game.  My son is on the team and my daughter is in the band.  It was a great game even though we lost and the band was fantastic!!!!  I love this season of my life. The busyness  drags me down sometimes, but I need to remember how blessed I am.  These days will go by so fast.... And I will miss them eventually.  But I will look back on them with a smile in my heart . Thank you God for all the blessings of life!  

my grandpa died

I am beyond words right now.  My grandpa passed away June 30, 2015 at 8:00pm.  I had just left his house an hour before.  Mike called me told me I better come back.  But he was gone by the time I got there.  I just got down on my knees beside his bed and held on to him and cried.  I cried so hard!  It still doesn't seem real.  I feel like I could see him walk in my front door.  I feel like I will see him the next time I go to his house.  He had been sick with lung cancer. He found this out the first of April. Mike and I took care of him.   We did all we could to keep him comfortable and pain free the last week of his life.  I'm not sure how to even deal with the grief.  Grandpa and I were close.  We talked several times a week.  He came to my house for every big thing and little thing.  He did a lot with our family and he was always attending the kids activities.  He loved life and his family.   Its been a week today since he passed.  I have survived 1 week without him.  I am down, no motivation, no desire to do much of anything. I wanted to go to the cemetery today...but I didn't.   My kids and I sang at his funeral.  Go Rest High on that Mountain. It just doesn't seem real or even possible.